My Dad is my Super Hero

by jbfalle 2:52 AM 1 comments Family Parenting Random Thoughts

My dad is not famous, not rich, not extraordinary, but one thing sets him apart from everyone else: He is my first Hero.

No he is not a Super dad, like what others think of their dads. In fact, he is unique, he is not normal, he is supra normal as what he used to say.

He is schizophrenic as his doctors diagnose him. But I know he is fighting, everyday he is fighting a sickness only a few can overcome, fighting something we all have little control over: neurotransmitters. Who cares about those damned neurotransmitters anyway? Most of us don't, but these trivial things changed his life forever.

I have few fond memories of my father. Most of the hurtful ones, I simply want to forget, while the happy moments, I want to cherish forever. Among my siblings, since I was the eldest, I was the one who have more memories of my father before he got sick.

So who's my dad? He is John Rosales Balili. To his workmates, he was John, his relatives called him Tito Jean, his students called him Sir John and to me and my siblings he is Papa.

He was a good man. As a son, he was never the type to help work in the fields but he likes to stay at home and only knows how to cook rice. He tries to please his parents by excelling at school. As a brother, he was thoughtful and generous. As a teacher, he was very dedicated and passionate, he was not only known for being a walking computer but he was also remembered for his kindness and for their friendship.

I know not much about how he truly was to other people. But to me and my siblings, he is a good father.

As a father, he was a good provider. Before he got sick, he was the one providing for all our needs, working from dusk until dawn, even taking tutorial jobs at night so he can have more money to spend for our growing family.

He was our play mate as well. Even in his busy schedule he makes way to spend time with us, even just by strolling in our village and taking unlimited photos of us, or by going to the nearby river and take a bath at the stream together with the carabaos or a bunch on tadpoles. I also remember playing games with him such as scrabble, chess, snakes and ladders, word cube, monopoly and even playing cards. I feel so happy when I beat him, making feel like a genius too. He makes sure that we have a balance of work and play.

Despite his scholarly achievements, he never pressured us to become academic achievers. Instead, he emphasized the value of play in learning. He said if only he could turn back time he would play more and not focus on getting good grades, because you only get to be a child once.

He also taught us the value of reading. Every time he drops by the book sale shop, he will buy me a Hardy Boys or Nancy Drew book. He even encouraged me to read classic books such as The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, Gulliver travels, and the like. The Little Prince was my favorite. He wanted us to develop a habit of reading. Maybe I just did not develop his great memorizing skills, but yes I learned to love reading.

He taught me to love music as well. He taught me how to sing and even had our own recording sessions. I remember hearing our recorded voices (my voice was still that of a toddler) singing nursery rhymes. He also taught me how to play the guitar, actually he just taught me how to read the chords because he trusts that I can learn on my own. He even bought me my first guitar on my twelfth birthday when he saw how eager I was to make my own music.

He also taught us how to swim. During weekends, we have our swimming sessions at the river near our house, together with some of our friends. When we were a little older, he would bring us to a nearby club house or Grotto Vista during summer to swim. But swimming in the river together with the carabaos were the best swimming lessons we had.

He influenced me to love crafting. Apart from his love for computers and photography, he also likes DIY Carpentry. He was the one to craft the bookshelves at home as well as some cabinets. He also makes invitation cards from scratch and creates his own rubber stamps to design then when a desk top printer was not yet invented. In fact, my mom still keeps all of the cards and love letters he gave her. He was also very good in calligraphy.

He also loved poetry. When I was young he would read to us a book full of poems that he created. He also keeps a little book full of love poems for Mama. He influenced me not only to make poems but to make songs out of it as well.

He was a big influence in my life and played a big role on what I have become today.

The time when Papa got sick, I was still eight then, was like experiencing a lost battle for the first time. It was devastating. Life changed 360 degrees. At our age that time, we do not really understand. All I wanted at that time was for my Papa to come back. I missed his happy face and I missed his joyful spirit. Years passed and his sickness got worse. If I base it on research, I can blame it on his electric shock therapy, but maybe it was also God's plan.

My Papa is now 65 years old, for more than 20 years he was suffering from mental illness. He is old now and even if in my heart I wish we can bring back the young and vibrant father I used to know, it may never happen now. For now, I don't pray to bring back the past, yet I pray that he will have more years to enjoy life. Yes, all I want for him now is to enjoy life, explore the world while he still can if God permits.

Yes Papa is not ordinary. Indeed he is supranatural as he claims to be. His love is genuine and he keeps on fighting his battle each day. Despite his weaknesses and his lapses he will forever be a great father to me. I admire him for his love for my mother and for us, I think that is what keeps him fighting his illness. He may not be a super dad but to me my father is my first hero, my Super hero.